Your Mistakes Are Mine, Your Wins Are Yours

Since we have established that you are a leader, you now need to learn one of the most challenging behaviors of being a leader.

Introduction

Great leadership isn’t about claiming credit when things go well. It’s about creating an environment where your team feels empowered to take risks, innovate, and claim ownership of their achievements. At the same time, it’s about providing a safety net by shouldering the responsibility when things don’t go as planned.

My philosophy—“Your failures are mine, your wins are yours”—may seem counterintuitive in a world where leaders are often eager to highlight their successes. Yet, it represents one of the most powerful approaches to building high-performing teams.

Creating Psychological Safety

When leaders publicly take responsibility for failures, they send a powerful message: it’s safe to take risks here. Google’s research on team effectiveness found that psychological safety—the belief that one won’t be punished for making mistakes—was the most critical factor in building effective teams.

By absorbing the impact of failures, leaders create an environment where team members feel comfortable experimenting, suggesting unconventional ideas, and stepping outside their comfort zones. This psychological safety becomes the foundation for innovation.

Building Trust Through Vulnerability

There’s profound trust-building power in a leader who says, “I should have provided better guidance” or “I failed to remove the obstacles in your way.” This vulnerability demonstrates that the leader prioritizes team growth over personal ego.

As Brené Brown notes in her research on leadership, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.”

Taking responsibility for team failures requires maturity and self-confidence. It demonstrates to both your team and your own leadership that you understand the true role of a leader—not as someone who takes credit, but as someone who creates conditions for others to succeed.

Former Navy SEAL and leadership expert Jocko Willink emphasizes “extreme ownership” as a core leadership principle. In his experience leading elite military teams, he found that leaders who immediately accepted responsibility rather than blaming subordinates or circumstances were invariably more effective.

The Art of Authentic Recognition

One thing I find genuinely insulting is getting generic praise like “good job” from a so-called “leader” who had no idea what that good outcome meant to me, what I went through, or what sacrifices I made. I promised myself to persistently invest the time to understand one’s effort to achieve the outcome.

As an effective leader you have to know that generic praise like “good job” doesn’t resonate. Instead, you will have to take time to recognize specific contributions: “Sarah’s creative approach to the client presentation was what ultimately won them over” or “Michael’s persistent problem-solving helped us overcome the technical problem we faced.”

This specificity makes the recognition more meaningful and demonstrates that you as a leader are paying attention to individual contributions. You are investing the most valuable thing you have—time—for another human being.

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

The Credit-Claiming Temptation

In moments of success, there’s an instinct to highlight your own role: “My strategy really paid off” or “I knew this approach would work.” Resist this temptation. Instead, focus on the team’s execution, insights, and perseverance.

The irony is that redirecting credit to your team actually enhances your reputation as a leader. Others notice this generosity, and it speaks volumes about your leadership philosophy. You would like to be remembered as the luckiest person to always have the best possible team. Micromanagement as Failure Response When failures occur, some leaders respond by tightening control—increasing oversight, requiring more approvals, or inserting themselves into every decision. This approach undermines the very ownership and autonomy that drives exceptional performance.

Instead, use failures as coaching opportunities. Ask questions like “What can we learn from this?” and “How might we approach this differently next time?” Guide the learning process without taking over. Finding the Accountability Balance Taking responsibility doesn’t mean removing accountability from your team. Team members should still be accountable for their work and contributions to both successes and failures. The difference is in how that accountability is framed and addressed.

After a setback, focus on future-oriented accountability: “Given what we’ve learned, what will you do differently next time?” This approach maintains responsibility while fostering growth rather than blame.

Avoiding the Blame Culture

Even subtle language can foster a blame culture. Phrases like “Who was responsible for this?” or “How did this get missed?” immediately put people on the defensive. Instead, use language that focuses on the situation and learning: “Let’s understand what happened here” or “What process breakdown allowed this to occur?” Communication Strategies

With your team:

• Be explicit about your philosophy: “I want you to know that I’ll always have your back when things don’t go as planned, and I’ll make sure your contributions are recognized when they do.”
• Regularly ask: “Who hasn’t received recognition for their contributions lately?”

With upper management:

• When reporting successes, lead with team member contributions
• When discussing challenges, frame them in terms of what you as a leader could have done differently
• Help your leadership understand how this approach is building a stronger, more innovative team

Conclusion

The “Your failures are mine, your wins are yours” philosophy acknowledges a fundamental truth: a leader’s primary responsibility isn’t personal advancement but team development and organizational success.

Implementing this approach creates ripple effects throughout your organization. Team members who experience this style of leadership often adopt it themselves as they grow into leadership roles, creating a virtuous cycle of healthy leadership practices.

The truest measure of leadership isn’t how many achievements you can claim as your own, but how many people you’ve helped develop, and how effectively your team functions—even when you’re not in the room.

As you reflect on your own leadership approach, consider: Are you quick to claim credit and deflect blame? Or are you creating an environment where people feel both challenged and safe—where they can take risks, learn from failures without fear, and receive full recognition for their successes?

Your choice will define not only your leadership legacy but also the success and well-being of every person you work with.