Run Your Own Race

I spent countless hours scrolling through Facebook, LinkedIn, and Instagram, feeling that familiar knot in my stomach tighten with each post I read. Another colleague landing their dream job. A peer speaking at a prestigious conference. Someone I went to school with launched a promising startup. With each scroll, I felt myself falling further behind in a race I never signed up for.

Sound familiar?

I’ve realized that this constant game of comparison isn’t just exhausting—it’s impossible to win. In today’s hyperconnected world, we’re bombarded with everyone’s highlight reels and carefully curated success stories that show the summit but never the climb.

At work, you watch others get celebrated and promoted while you question whether you’re moving fast enough, learning enough, or delivering sufficiently. The truth hit me hard after reflecting on how I felt in various stages during my career: I was trying to win someone else’s race by playing by their rules.

Think about it. When we chase others’ definitions of success, we’re like runners who’ve wandered into the wrong race. We’re tennis players trying Olympic weightlifting or swimmers forcing ourselves into a long run. We’re not incapable—we’re just competing in the wrong event.

There’s infinite knowledge out there; someone will always know more than you do. Someone will always have more experience, more achievements, or more recognition. You’ve already lost if your goal is to catch up or surpass everyone else. It’s like trying to drink from a fire hose—you’ll end up drowning rather than quenching your thirst.

You don’t have to play this game. You shouldn’t.

Instead of trying to outrun everyone else, I’ve started focusing on creating my track. I looked hard at what truly energizes me, what I’m naturally good at, and what makes me lose track of time. These aren’t just hobbies or passing interests—they’re clues to where I can make my unique mark.

Something magical happens when you find that sweet spot—that intersection of your talents, passions, and opportunities. The noise of others’ achievements starts to fade. Their success stops feeling like your failure. You begin to measure yourself not against others but against your potential.

I’m not suggesting this is easy. Creating your path requires courage. It means stepping away from the well-worn track that others are running on. It means facing uncertainty and possibly criticism. The discomfort of forging your path is far less painful than the constant agony of trying to be someone you’re not.

Look at any truly groundbreaking achievement in history. Did Steve Jobs succeed by trying to build a better IBM? Did Frida Kahlo become legendary by painting like everyone else? No—they succeeded by being unapologetically themselves; for sure, they were influenced by others, but they created their own games with their own rules.

So here’s my challenge: Stop running someone else’s race. Stop measuring your chapter 1 against someone else’s chapter 20. Instead, ask yourself:

• What unique perspective do I bring to my field?
• What problems do I feel compelled to solve?
• What would success look like if I defined it purely on my own terms?

The world doesn’t need another copy of someone else’s success story. It requires your unique contribution, your authentic voice, and your original path. Yes, it’s scary. It is full of uncertainty. But it’s the only race worth running—the one you define for yourself.

Remember: The goal isn’t to be better than everyone else. The goal is to be better than you were yesterday, running on your own track and toward your own vision of success.

When you catch yourself scrolling through LinkedIn with that familiar sense of inadequacy, instead of letting it paralyze you, use it as a reminder to refocus on your own path, your own race, and your own finish line.

Because at the end of the day, that’s the only race you are allowed to win.

Study Guide

Short Answer Quiz

1. According to the author, what is the primary problem with comparing ourselves to others on social media?
2. What does the author mean by “trying to win someone else’s race?” Give an example that demonstrates this concept.
3. What is the author’s analogy for trying to compete with everyone and their achievements?
4. What are three specific elements the author suggests focusing on to create one’s own “track”?
5. What “magical” thing happens, according to the author, when you find the “sweet spot” of your talents, passions, and opportunities?
6. What are the risks and challenges involved in creating your own path?
7. How do the examples of Steve Jobs and Frida Kahlo support the author’s argument?
8. What three questions does the author challenge readers to ask themselves regarding their career path?
9. What should your focus be, according to the author, instead of trying to be better than everyone else?
10. How should the feeling of inadequacy that comes from social media be used?

Answer Key for Quiz

1. The author states that social media is filled with highlight reels and curated success stories that only show the summit of achievement, not the climb, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy.
2. “Trying to win someone else’s race” means chasing someone else’s definition of success and playing by their rules, such as a tennis player trying Olympic weightlifting.
3. The author compares trying to catch up to everyone else to trying to drink from a fire hose, suggesting one will end up drowning rather than quenching their thirst.
4. The author suggests focusing on what truly energizes you, what you are naturally good at, and what makes you lose track of time.
5. When you find the intersection of your talents, passions, and opportunities, the noise of others’ achievements fades, and their success stops feeling like your failure. You begin to measure yourself against your potential.
6. Creating your path requires courage, stepping away from the well-worn track, facing uncertainty, and possibly criticism.
7. Jobs and Kahlo succeeded by being unapologetically themselves; they were influenced by others but created their own games with their own rules, making a unique contribution rather than copying others.
8. The author asks: What unique perspective do I bring to my field? What problems do I feel compelled to solve? What would success look like if I defined it purely on my own terms?
9. The goal is to be better than you were yesterday, running on your own track and toward your own vision of success, rather than being better than others.
10. The feeling of inadequacy should be used as a reminder to refocus on your own path, race, and finish line.

Essay Format Questions

1. Analyze the author’s use of the “race” metaphor throughout the essay. How does this metaphor contribute to the essay’s overall message?
2. Discuss the relationship between social comparison and personal fulfillment. How does the author suggest we navigate social comparison in a healthy way?
3. Explore the idea of defining success on one’s own terms. What are some practical steps individuals can take to create their own vision of success?
4. The author emphasizes the importance of authenticity and creating an “original path.” How might societal pressures hinder individuals from following their own unique path, and what can be done to overcome such pressures?
5. Examine the role of self-awareness in the process of creating one’s own path. How can individuals cultivate a deeper understanding of their talents, passions, and opportunities?

Glossary of Key Terms

• Highlight Reels: Refers to the curated and often exaggerated portrayal of one’s life on social media, focusing on successes and achievements, while omitting difficulties and setbacks.
• Social Comparison: The act of comparing oneself to others, often in terms of achievements, status, or possessions, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy or envy.
• Someone Else’s Race: Metaphorically refers to the pursuit of success defined by external standards and societal norms, rather than by personal values and goals.
• Authentic Voice: Refers to expressing one’s unique thoughts, ideas, and perspectives without trying to conform to others’ expectations or imitate them.
• Original Path: A unique and self-defined direction in life that aligns with one’s personal values, talents, and aspirations, rather than following a conventional or predetermined route.
• Sweet Spot: The intersection of one’s talents, passions, and opportunities, where an individual can make their unique mark and experience fulfillment.
• Self-Awareness: The ability to recognize one’s own thoughts, feelings, motivations, and personality, which is essential for understanding one’s true self and needs.
• Inadequacy: The feeling of not being good enough, often stemming from comparison with others or an inability to meet perceived standards or expectations.
• Curated Success Stories: The carefully constructed narratives shared online which emphasize achievements while often omitting the struggles or work required to reach the presented outcome.
• Well-worn Track: A commonly accepted or conventional path or career choice. It implies that many others have already walked that particular path, and the implication is that choosing this path would not result in a unique or fulfilling life.