How to Ignore What You Can't Change
/ 3 min read
Table of Contents
Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “If only I had…?” I did many times. We focus on that promotion we didn’t get, the house we can’t afford, or the skills we wish we had. I’ve been there, too, and it’s a frustrating cycle that can leave us feeling stuck and powerless.
The Two Circles That Change Everything
In his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey introduced a concept that completely changed my perspective: the Circle of Concern versus the Circle of Influence.
Your Circle of Concern
Think about everything that worries you right now: the economy, the weather, what others think of you, and the gas price. These all sit in your Circle of Concern. Sure, they affect your life, but can you really do anything about them?
Your Circle of Influence
Now, think about the things you can actually change: your skills, how you spend your time, your relationships, your health. These are in your Circle of Influence. This is where the magic happens.
The Power of Shifting Focus
When we spend all our energy worrying about what we don’t have, we miss out on the opportunities right in front of us. It’s like focusing on the one wilted flower in a vibrant garden and ignoring the beauty all around it.
When you focus on what you can control:
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Your confidence grows
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You take action because your actions will yield results
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Your Circle of Influence expands
Making It Work for You
Instead of saying, “I can’t afford that dream vacation,” ask yourself, “What can I do with my current resources to create amazing experiences?”
Start Small
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List three things you can influence today.
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Take one small action for each.
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Notice how much better you feel being proactive.
Being proactive isn’t about ignoring problems. It’s about putting your energy where it counts. Whenever you worry about something outside your control, ask yourself: “What can I do with what I have right now?”
The Ripple Effect
When you focus on your Circle of Influence, it grows larger. I have experienced it over and over again. It’s like a muscle—the more you exercise it, the stronger it gets. Meanwhile, people who constantly focus on things they can’t control find their influence shrinking.
You already have more power than you think. It’s not about having everything—it’s about making the most of what you have. Start today. Take one small step within your Circle of Influence. You will start to bend the universe little by little. Be patient; nothing good comes easy.
As I was writing this article, I was concerned that it might sound like I live in my Circle of Influence all the time. That is not true. I am working on it all the time, though. It is like eating healthy. It becomes the norm after a while, but then something happens (pizza when I am starving), and it challenges me in such a way that I get back to that reactive, panicked mode–the circle of concern. But I eventually realize what is happening, step back, look at it from a distance, course correct, and move on. Life would be a tedious practice if we had figured out it all. Would you say so?